Finding the perfect gift for the wedding couple can be stressful. Is it best to stick to what is on their registry, try unlisted items, or provide money for the couple to use at their discretion?
I recently married the man of my dreams, and here are some of my ideas about the current wedding atmosphere.
Thoughts on sticking to the registry:
I highly recommend this safe option when purchasing a gift for the couple. The couple has selected items they like and think they will need. When you choose this option, please remember to attach a gift receipt with your purchase. Registry lists are not always up-to-date, and it is highly likely the couple will receive duplicate gifts. Also, consider wrapping your card into the gift so the couple has no question as to who gave them the present.
Thoughts on going off the registry:
A fine line exists here. If you really know the couple and are confident that the gift you have selected is something they will like, it is safe to stray from the registry; but I would suggest a gift receipt whenever possible. Some of my favorite gifts were items that were not on our registry. One was a piece of art that included my name, my husband’s name, and our wedding date. This piece coordinated with our style, and it was given by a family member who had visited our home and knew our taste. Remember, just because you think something is absolutely adorable, this does not mean it will match the couple’s style.
A second gift we really appreciated was a book given to us by an older couple. The book was one that strengthened their marriage. This gift had meaning and value.
Don’t purchase something off-registry just because it is easier or cheaper for you. If your gift has meaning and matches the couple’s style, this is the only time I recommend going off the registry, unless you are including this item with a registry gift.
Thoughts on giving money:
Do it! A newlywed couple may be in debt up to their eyeballs from throwing a wedding. My suggestion? Give cash. My husband and I used the cash we were given during our honeymoon. We loved that the money was readily available and we didn’t have to deposit it into one of our accounts. If you are going to write a check, please choose one person to write the check to. If you include both names, depositing checks becomes more complicated. Additionally, while it is exciting to write the bride’s new name, please refrain from doing so on a check. Her name will need to be changed before the couple can deposit the gift.
Looking for some unique gift ideas for the bride and groom?
Handmade items (one dear friend crocheted an afghan for us and we love it!)
Tasteful art designed to commemorate the couple’s wedding date (consider canvas or painted-wood wall art)
Gift cards for upscale dining near the couple’s home (newlyweds often don’t have funds to eat out)
Experience vouchers (consider historic or nature-related tours, dining experiences, or a cooking class for the two)
Home-project vouchers (make sure you are qualified to help with the task you are offering. Think gardening, painting, moving.)
Meal-ingredient subscriptions (newlyweds may need some help learning to craft healthy meals for two. Several available services are designed to meet various dietary needs while teaching couples how to cook new and exciting meals)
Below are some resources that are safe to give (with a registry gift or money) even when they are not on the couple’s registry.
Preparing for a Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans
(perfect for the Bridal shower or engagement party)
Unleash the power of God’s plan for your destiny as a couple.
The toasts are done. The last dance is over. A few pieces of cake are left, and it’s time for you to hop in the car and head off to the rest of your life as a married couple. What’s next? How do you know that this picture-perfect day will result in a marriage of lifelong commitment and glory to God, who brought you together?
In Preparing for a Kingdom Marriage, you’ll find the tools to build the lasting, fulfilling relationship He designed for you.
Used together with the bestselling book Kingdom Marriage by Dr. Tony Evans, this encouraging guide offers practical teaching and sound counsel. Each session features a video introduction that will inspire and motivate you.
Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans
What happens when a kingdom man marries a kingdom woman? Kingdom Marriage: Connecting God’s Purpose with Your Pleasure helps couples grow together as a kingdom couple to fulfill God’s design and purpose for their marriage. Through practical insights and powerful stories, Dr. Tony Evans inspires and instructs so couples will discover the hope, challenge, and guidance God’s Word provides for their journey together.
“You can reflect the glory of God and the unity of the Trinity through your shared purpose, honor, and love as a true kingdom couple.” —Tony Evans
One Year Love Language Minute Devotional by Gary Chapman
Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? He sends you flowers when what you really want is time to talk. She gives you a hug when what you really need is a home-cooked meal. The problem isn’t love—it’s your love language. Each one of us responds well to a different type of expression of love. The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional is your daily guide for expressing heartfelt love to your mate in a way that he or she can appreciate it.
Uncommon Marriage by Tony & Lauren Dungy
The New York Times bestseller now in softcover! What does it take to build a marriage that will last? Tony and Lauren Dungy have together known the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. They fell in love, built a family, and made sports history when Tony became the first African American head coach to win the Super Bowl. Yet they’ve also gone through difficult, relationship-testing setbacks, including job loss and devastating personal tragedy. In a culture where it seems harder and harder to make marriage last, what has kept the Dungys strong through it all? In Uncommon Marriage, Tony and Lauren share the secrets that hold them together, revealing what they’ve learned so far about being a good husband or wife; getting through times of loss, grief, or change; staying connected despite busy schedules; supporting each other’s dreams and goals; and helping each other grow spiritually. They offer encouragement and practical advice to equip your marriage to survive tough issues and flourish with joy, purpose, and partnership—in other words, to be a marriage that is truly uncommon.
Uncommon Marriage Bible Study by Tony & Lauren Dungy
A marriage gets stronger when you invite God into it.
A companion study to Tony and Lauren Dungy’s popular book Uncommon Marriage, this 5-week guide for couples or small groups delves into Scripture to explore the blessings and challenges couples face today. Drawing on biblical truths and their own personal experiences, Tony and Lauren share the importance of making time for each other, resolving conflict well, staying strong and committed through difficult times, coping with changes and big decisions, praying together, building a spiritual foundation for your family, and more. The Uncommon Marriage Bible Study will help equip your marriage to survive tough issues and flourish with joy, purpose, and partnership—in other words, to be a marriage that is truly uncommon. The book also includes icebreakers for groups, a leader’s guide, and links to free resources for churches.
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