“We can control our attitudes, our actions, our decisions, our priorities, and even our words. This only happens, however, through the power of the Holy Spirit. He alone can change the human heart – from which all of our behaviors, choices, and responses flow,” Erin, Greg, and Gary Smalley write in their book, "The Whole Hearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship." Written for mainly married women, this two hundred and seventy-two page paperback targets those interested in improving and enhancing their relationships with their spouses. Providing ten chapters with keys to a better marriage, the three writers use Biblical references taken mainly from the New International Version of the Bible along with the NCV, TLB, and NLT editions. Mostly authored by Erin, wife of Greg and daughter-in-law of Gary Smalley, she focuses on her own marriage and family experiences including the challenges she and her husband have faced. Greg and Gary’s interjections are noted with their ideas and viewpoints from male perspectives. In each chapter, the topic discussed emphasizes first on the woman and how she can change for the better, followed by how to approach the husband. The ending joins both man and wife’s role in regard to God and how to work together in unity. The ten keys involve honoring, nourishing, accepting differences, connecting spiritually, communicating, joining sexually, resolving conflict, defusing anger, forgiving, and transforming trials into blessings, reiterating in the conclusion that a more loving relationship begins individually. Reminding one can only control oneself, the authors suggest valuing each other, having truthful self-talks, keeping gratitude journals, taming anger volcanoes, and going treasure hunting for the good within the bad in life. In addition to inserting a personality test, included are ten ways to get a man to talk with five basic levels of communication, a list of women’s roadblocks to sex as well as ten things husbands wished their wives understood, how to identify anger buttons, rules for fighting fair with ways to express feelings, and five steps to finding hidden pearls in life. This book may be a good source for newly married women who are unsure of their role as a wife or want to understand or help their husbands more. Keeping in mind that God honors a healthy, vibrant marriage, a devoted couple can become closer to each other as they get closer to God. Thanks to Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. for furnishing this complimentary book in exchange for a review based on the reader’s opinions.

The Smalleys bring both professional expertise and personal experience to the important conversation of what it ztakes to nurture a loving marriage. A great resource for any married couple.