New Living Translation

Is It My Fault When Things Go Wrong?

by Julie, a Beyond Suffering Bible reader

You never think your life is going to be filled with trials, unexplained circumstances, or never understanding “why me.” If you had asked me years ago what I would be experiencing today, I never would’ve answered debilitating chronic pain, brokenness, emptiness, and loneliness. We know there will be difficulties, but feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel made me feel abandoned by God, my Abba Father.

I started looking at every area of my life and labeled each one with the word: failure. I started wondering if maybe all of this is my fault—I am such a failure and have messed things up so badly that I don’t deserve a life without pain. That was the only way I could make sense of my health problems. I didn’t want to be around people because I felt I was an inconvenience and that I had no purpose.

I started reading the Beyond Suffering Bible, and it’s been quite a journey. There are still pitfalls and trials, but I have been encouraged more than I ever imagined. I felt like someone understood me, someone cared. It was like a door flew open and I could see a much bigger picture. Instead of hiding from my Abba Father, I now run to him and focus on him through my pain and struggles.

I still struggle every day with unimaginable pain and limitations. But I see things differently now. I feel closer to God than ever before, and it has made me examine my life. There are sins I need forgiven, and there are people I need to forgive. I don’t want anything, including my pain and suffering, to get in the way of my relationship with an amazing, loving God. Or to let it diminish the purpose he has for me. I have a purpose. God has a plan. And I’m addicted to reading my Beyond Suffering Bible.

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15 thoughts on “Is It My Fault When Things Go Wrong?

  1. Thank you for writing this. I struggle with these thoughts a lot as my chronic conditions are taking a turn for the worse. But I am only able to live everyday with a glimmer of hope and purpose because of Jesus. I cling to him. Thank you for helping me see that I’m not alone and redirecting me to the good truth of Jesus. Praying for you and with you.

  2. I’m read this story and find that need in me aswel the people surrounding me need to read this myself and make sure that the other people read it too.

  3. Reading this story make’s me realize that I’m not alone God is with me,I’m going through trial’s and tribulations feel like my life is limited it’s like there’s a huge boundary between me and God and between me and my future.

    I know I’m not alone God is with me but when I suffer like this sometimes I cry and loose hope,but there will be a word that reminds me that I’m not alone.Sometimes I’ll read the bible but still feel empty inside😖 but keep on saying “I know my redemer lives”.

    1. That is true and it is amazing how God listens even to the smallest of things. Everyday l always learn something new from God about myself or the situation that l am in. I grew up without a dad, it was just my mom and l. Although l love my mom a lot l always had this feeling that l was incomplete, abnormal some would say. It was quite hard when other kids would talk about their dads and l would talk about my mom. One day my mom read to me Pslam 68 v 5 which says “Father of the Fatherless and protector of the widows, is God in his holy habitation”. From then l feel like l have a father the best ever. I don’t feel alone anymore. Sometimes it’s hard to believe but there is peace that God give to any of his troubled children and it’s truly amazing.

    1. Thank you! The Beyond Suffering Bible is available in most Christian bookstores, Amazon.com, Christianbook.com, Tyndale.com and through Joni and Friends.

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