Chapter One

1. Was there a part of Sue’s story that particularly spoke to you? That you could identify with? That surprised you?

2. Have you found that most people don’t know what to say, and often say the “wrong” thing to others going through difficult times such as divorce and abandonment? If you personally have experienced divorce or abandonment, what did you want to hear from people at that time?

3. Sue spoke of the abandoning spouse giving up God first, then their spouse, and then their children. What are your thoughts on this process? Do you agree or disagree?

Chapter Two

1. Where do you find your comfort when dealing with life’s trials?

2. For those who have been divorced or separated, in what ways do you struggle, like Sue, to figure out how to relate to your spouse/ex-spouse—this familiar stranger?

3. Do you find it difficult to trust God for the outcome of your marriage/divorce? What particular things do you find most difficult to give over to God?

Chapter Three

1. Have you ever been in the position where you received contradictory advice from friends? How did you deal with this?

2. How do you define yourself? Do you find it difficult not to define yourself by your spouse’s actions/definition? Do you understand who you are in Christ?

3. What parts or aspects of your life give you strength and hope? (For example, your children, friends, Scripture, exercise, reading, music, your faith, etc.)

Chapter Four

1. What do you think is the most difficult aspect of single parenting?

2. What constitutes a successful day for you?

3. What is your prayer life like? Is it what you want it to be? What steps can you take to make prayer a priority?

Chapter Five

1. Do you struggle with anger? Bitterness?

2. Assuming that all our answers to the question above will be yes, what is the best way you have found to deal with anger and bitterness?

3. Are you willing to let God deal with your anger and with your spouse? If yes, what do you think that looks like practically?

4. Do you have any Scripture verses that you have found that speak to your heart and mind about overcoming anger or bitterness? Please share.

Chapter Six

1. Do you struggle with judging yourself more harshly than others or vice versa? How has your marital situation affected that struggle?

2. If you are a little farther along in your healing journey, are you finding it gets easier or more difficult? In what ways?

3. What do you think about Sue’s thoughts on people being more open with our struggles? Can you name some positive, healthy, God-honoring ways to do that?

Chapter Seven

1. How do you deal with the other person in your current family drama? Has anything worked to make it easier for you and/or your children?

2. Do you pray for your ex-spouse/spouse? Do you pray for the other person? Can you? Why or why not?

3. What description of who you are in Christ most speaks to you? Add to this list if you would like.

A new creation

Free from condemnation

Child of God

Friend of God

Righteous

Filled with the Holy Spirit

Redeemed

Saved by grace

Reconciled to God

More than a conqueror

Have hope

Made with a purpose

Holy

Perplexed but not driven to despair

Persecuted but not forsaken

Struck down but not destroyed

Chapter Eight

1. What do/did you hope or expect the outcome of your situation would be?

2. What do you think of the statement, “Just because what I deem good isn’t what God designed as good doesn’t mean that it isn’t something to rejoice in”?

3. Please reflect on your life for a minute and share a few ways you have seen or see God loving you.

4. In your life or situation, what is the most difficult thing to give to God? Why?

Chapter Nine

1. When your children are around, how do you deal with the negative emotions of your situation?

2. What are some effective ways you have found to help your children deal with the difficult issues your family has faced?

3. Did/do you have the support of your family, friends, and church? Is there any way people could help you more? Are you willing to ask? If not, why not?

4. What is your biggest prayer request for your children? For yourself?

Chapter Ten

Time to Make Your Lists!

1. Write down the hopes and dreams you have for yourself.

2. Write down the hopes and dreams you have for your children.

3. If you want to remarry, write the qualities that are non-negotiable attributes of any future spouse.

4. What do you hope heaven will hold for you? Does thinking about heaven help you have an eternal perspective?

Chapter Eleven

1. Why do you think men and women deal with tragedy (specifically relational matters) differently?

2. How have you searched for affirmation?

3. What is a good strategy for pursuing your relationship with God with a more focused determination?

Chapter Twelve

1. Sue identified with the Israelites as she has walked the difficult path of divorce and healing. Is there a person or group of people in the Bible you identify with and why?

2. Based on what you have gone through or are going through, do you feel hope or dread for the future?

3. Do you agree that Jesus is enough? What does that look and feel like to you?

4. Make a “The Me I Want to Be” list for yourself.