Introduction

• Dave talks about a perspective-changing moment with his friend Mike. Who in your life has had that kind of impact on you? Describe the lessons you learned from that person. 
• Recall a sacred moment that happened at an unexpected time or place. What was the impact it had on you?
• Dave believes that we live in the most connected culture in the history of the world, but that we’re arguably the most disconnected from God and one another. What causes you to feel most disconnected?
• Read Psalm 139. The psalmist points out:

God knows everything about me.

God is everywhere I am.

God ordains everything about me.

List some ways those statements can change how you live as a Christian.

• Read Ephesians 1:11-12 on page xvii. How does believing you have a God-ordained purpose change your self-image?
• Discuss how your experience with broken promises impacts your ability to trust God’s promises.
• Which promise from God is the most difficult for you to believe? Why do you think this is true?
• Read 1 Chronicles 16:34 on page xx and Matthew 28:20 on page xxii. What reassuring message do you find in both of these passages?
• Dave describes how his lack of educational credentials was a source of embarrassment for him. What causes you to lack confidence that God can use you in His plan?
• After you read the prayer at the end of the introduction, write your own brief prayer that you can refer to as you read through the book.

Chapter 1—The Curse of Culture

• On page 6, read through the list of ways that a person can be distracted from a spouse, a family member, or a friend. How many of these distractions are easy for you to fall into?
• Would limiting your device and social media time be difficult for you?
• If devices and social media are not your challenge, what are the things in your life that distract you and disconnect you from God and from others?
• Read Romans 12:2 on pages 7–8. Dave suggests that one way to begin to transform or rewire our thinking is to be grateful for everyday blessings. Think of ten simple, daily blessings that you often overlook.

Chapter 2—How to Reverse Stinkin’ Thinkin’

• Dave thinks that America is a difficult place to live a transformational Christian life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?
• Review the checklist of stinkin’ thinkin’ symptoms on pages 15–16. Which symptoms can you identify with?
• Dave describes how losing his phone “pushed his buttons” and caused him to start condemning himself. What words or actions push your buttons?
• Read Philippians 4:8 on page 19. How can claiming this verse help reverse negative thinking?

Chapter 3—Busyness Is Not Next to Godliness

• Do you agree with Dave that busyness has become an indication of significance and value within our culture?
• How has busyness affected your connection to God and to those who are important to you?
• As evidenced in Matthew 13:36 and Mark 6:45-46, Jesus prioritized His time—spending time with His disciples and also getting away by Himself. What can you learn from Jesus’ example and apply to your own schedule?
• On page 28, Dave imagines Jesus reminding him in person who he is as a believer. How would you react if Jesus were saying those things to you?
• Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Write down some specific strategies for freeing up time for God, yourself, and others.

Chapter 4—The All-Important Owner’s Manual

• Dave writes that the growing cultural trend is to dismiss or marginalize the Bible. Why do you think this is happening? How can Christians show the value of Scripture to both believers and nonbelievers?
• Read Tim Keller’s observations on pages 35–36 regarding the Bible’s truths being either received or dismissed by the culture. Why do you think biblical truths generate such strong reactions?
• The Bible does not sugarcoat the failings of the most revered biblical figures—it honestly explores evil, sin, consequences, suffering, and pain. How does that honesty make you feel about human frailty and God’s patience toward us?
• Second Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” Can you think of a time when God used Scripture to point out something in your life that needed to be addressed, corrected, and healed?

Chapter 5—Opening the Gift of Grace

• Why do you think grace is such a difficult concept for Christians to understand and implement in their daily lives?
• Dave concludes that grace is not the kind of plan that religious people would concoct, because there is no built-in control mechanism. Grace is freedom. Why do you think so many Christians struggle with the idea of grace and fall back on performance to try to please God?
• Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Rewrite these verses in your own words, personalizing what they mean to you.
• Review the story of the Prodigal Son on pages 50–52 (both Dave’s description and the Scripture). How does this parable make you feel about your relationship with God the Father?
• What are some grace-filled ways you can respond to others?

Chapter 6—New Eye for an Old Guy

• Do you have a story about a child who amused or instructed you?
• What memories do you have about the world you grew up in? What was your favorite thing to do? Why do you think people change when they grow older? How can we recover some of that childlike wonder?
• Author Betty Smith wrote that we should “look at everything always as though . . . seeing it either for the first or last time.” How would embracing this mind-set change how you look at life?
• Read pages 64–65, noting the disciples’ and Jesus’ interaction with children. Why do you think Jesus was such a passionate advocate for children?
• Read Matthew 18:1-4 on page 68. How can we see others without our learned prejudices? How can we model this attitude to the children in our lives?

Chapter 7—Time to Rethink Sabbath

• Why do you think most people have moved away from the concept of having a Sabbath day?
• Read Matthew 12:1-8 on page 78. Think about how Jesus viewed the Sabbath and what that reveals about how we should view it too. Why do you think God made Sabbath a priority for us?
• Review Dallas Willard’s quote about the Sabbath on page 80. Do you struggle with the idea of having a day of doing nothing intentionally?
• Jesus says in Mark 2:27, “The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath.” How can a Sabbath commitment help meet your spiritual and emotional needs?
• What do you need to do to create some space to meet God and others in Sabbath quiet?

Chapter 8—Don’t Let Your Past Steal Your Present

• List two or three people or events from your past who continue to dominate your thoughts or emotions. Think of the list as you read through this chapter. You may want to share those stories with someone or keep them between you and God.
• Read author John Claypool’s story about his grandfather on page 88. What do you need to learn from past hurts? What do you need to burn in order to move on with the help of the Holy Spirit? You may even wish to symbolically (and safely) burn the list as you ask God to help you heal.
• Read Philippians 3:13-14 on pages 91–92. Now go back and read Warren Wiersbe’s take on these verses at the top of page 90. How can Jesus help you change the meaning of the past?
• Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” How does this truth help you to go forward and change the meaning of past wounds and events?

Chapter 9—Begrudgingly

• Is there anyone you continue to carry an unhealthy grudge toward? Name them to God in prayer.
• Read Ephesians 4:26-32 on page 97. How does holding on to anger give a “foothold” to the devil?
• As recounted in Luke 9:52-56, Jesus and His disciples were not welcome in a Samaritan town (see pages 99–100). What does Jesus’ response to the disciples’ reaction teach you about holding on to grudges?
• Read the paragraph from author Will Davis Jr. on page 101. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Think of any people with whom you want to initiate the healing process by forgiving them.

Chapter 10—Gratitude Rhymes with Attitude

• Read James 1:17 on page 107. List ten things that you are grateful for right now, and thank God that He has gifted you with those blessings.
• Dave says that having a spirit of gratitude is an attitude that can be developed. Do you agree or disagree that this is possible? What do you consider your biggest obstacles in achieving it?
• On page 110, Dave names some of the benefits of gratitude:

A grateful heart is the foundational attitude of the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is that important. Gratitude keeps me from envy, if I can mentally pivot to the many things I am blessed to enjoy. Gratitude keeps me from anger, if I can be grateful for how patient God is with my myriad of shortcomings. Gratitude keeps me from frustration, when it reminds me how much worse things could be.

What are some other benefits of gratitude you can think of?

• Read and take to heart Philippians 2:14-15 on page 111. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you things to be grateful for in good or bad moments.

Chapter 11—Worrying Steals the Moment

• Read Matthew 6:25-27, 31-34 on pages 119–20. What is Jesus saying to us about worrying?
• Research shows that 85 percent of the things a person worries about never happen. Why do you think people tend to worry about so many things?
• Do you agree with Dave’s thoughts about worry as expressed on pages 120–21?

“Living in fear of the future cheats you out of today. A precious moment tugs on your heart like a child at your sleeve. Too often you stub your toe on that sacred moment while concerning yourself with something that won’t happen or will happen in a way that your worry cannot change. That is exactly where the Enemy wants to keep you and me as children of God, with our eyes on worry and not on God.”

• Read Matthew 11:28-30 on the bottom of page 121. What should be your first response when you begin to worry?

Chapter 12—Kindness Really Is Contagious

• When did someone’s kindness make a difference in your life?
• Read Colossians 3:12-15 on page 131. Rewrite those verses in your own words and make it personal.
• A marriage study found that contempt is the number one factor that tears couples apart. Find a quiet moment to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal if you have a spirit of criticism or contempt toward those you love or those you encounter daily. Pray for a new attitude of kindness. Write down Frederick Buechner’s advice: “If you want to be holy, be kind.”
• Being kind should be the calling card of followers of Jesus. Read 1 John 3:17 and Philippians 2:4 on pages 132 and 133 respectively. What are some practical ways that you can show kindness in your community?

Chapter 13—Dare Not to Compare

• Why do you think comparison can be such a dangerous exercise?
• In 2 Corinthians 10:12 the apostle Paul says, “Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!” What was Paul’s point about comparison?
• Read Ann Voskamp’s quote on page 144. How often do you catch yourself using a mental measuring stick? How would adopting her perspective change yours?
• Ephesians 1:11-12 reads, “It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone” (msg). God has ordained a purpose for each one of us. How would believing this cause you to stop comparing your gifts with the gifts of others?
• How does social media make comparison worse for you? If you are not a social media person, what causes you to compare yourself with others?
• Read 1 Corinthians 12:18-22, 26 on pages 145 and 146. Write down what your contributions—big and small—are to the body of believers.

Chapter 14—If You’re Happy and You Know It . . .

• Do you believe that God has a sense of humor? Why or why not?
• Read Luke 5:29-34 on pages 157–58. What would you say is the tone of the gathering at Levi’s house?
• Dave details multiple studies that show the health benefits of laughter. The Bible talks about the benefits of a glad heart. Why do you think some followers of Jesus think that they have to always be serious?
• Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired” (msg). Has this been your experience? What gives you a cheerful disposition and makes you laugh? Find reasons to laugh more often.

Chapter 15—We Need a Village

• Starbucks chairman and CEO Howard Schultz wanted to make his coffee shops a “third place between work and home” (page 169). What are some reasons that many people no longer look at church as their “third place”? How can we begin to reclaim this role in our community?
• Why do you think we tend to isolate ourselves from “sinners” when Jesus clearly valued their company?
• Read Hebrews 10:22-25 on page 171. How would you summarize the writer’s point in your own words?
• Why do you think community is vital (or not vital) for followers of Jesus to thrive?
• In Galatians 6:1-3, the apostle Paul writes, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.  Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.  If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.” What is Paul’s message about the importance and necessity of community?
• Think about the community of believers that you are currently a part of. How can you be more honest and giving in that community? If you are not in a church community, find a place where you can share your journey with others.

Chapter 16—The Doubt Bout

• What areas of doubt do you struggle with in your faith journey? Ask a trusted pastor or mentor for prayer and insight.
• On pages 185–86, Tim Keller makes the analogy that faith without some doubts is like a human body without antibodies. Does this comparison make sense to you?
• In John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” Many people view Jesus as just another great moral teacher. How can you reconcile Jesus’ claims about who he is with this view?
• Take Jude 1:22 to heart: “And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering.” Encourage one another and be honest about your doubts and also about those insights that have bolstered your faith.

Chapter 17—Powered by Prayer

• Describe the purpose of prayer in one sentence.
• As you look back on your life, what unanswered prayers are you grateful for?
• Read through the fundamentals of prayer on pages 198–200. Why is it important to understand the principles contained in the first line of the Lord’s Prayer?
• What is the most important thing you learned from the story of Nehemiah on pages 201–2?
• Read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Philippians 4:6, and Romans 12:12 on page 200. In your own words, write down the message that the apostle Paul emphasized in these verses.
• What are some practical ways that you can be more consistent and intentional about prayer?

Chapter 18—Let God Love You

• Who has demonstrated God’s love to you in your life? How did this person model His love, and how did it make you feel?
• Romans 8:15 explains what changes when you accept Jesus as Savior: “You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” Abba is an Aramaic word that best translates as “Daddy,” suggesting an intimacy with God the Father. What would that kind of relationship mean to you?
• Write down the lies that you tend to believe about yourself. Then read Ephesians 1:3-5 on page 212. Scratch through those lies, and write that you are chosen, loved, holy, and without fault because of Christ. You are adopted and cherished. All that the accuser throws your way is no longer true about you.
• Read 1 John 4:7-10 on page 214. Rewrite this passage in your own words. Choose to let God love you today.

Chapter 19—Getting Outside of Yourself

• Read Philippians 4:10-12 on page 222. Paul wrote these words from prison. What lesson can you learn from him about not letting your circumstances control your life?
• Why do you think affirmation is such a powerful need for people? When did someone’s affirmation of you make a difference in your life?
• What are some ways that you can show the love of God in your community?
• Read Hebrews 13:16 on page 228. Rewrite this verse in your own words.

Chapter 20—Words Do Matter

• What favorite “dadism” do you recall from your dad or other adult male in your life?
• Why do you think people post unkind and judgmental comments online? How should Christians respond to their angry and ugly comments?
• Review the list of things that God hates on pages 237–40. Do you think this list lines up with what most people think God hates?
• Read 1 John 4:20 and 1 John 2:9 on page 241. What is John’s main point regarding our attitude toward other believers even when we disagree with their views?
• Read Romans 12:9 on page 243. When is it appropriate to use the word hate?

Chapter 21—Sounds of Silence

• Why is it important to find quiet moments in your life?
• The verses on page 250 describe Jesus retreating to a solitary place to pray. Why do you think He needed to do that?
• Review the quote from A. W. Tozer on page 251. How does experiencing the silence of your heart help connect you more deeply to God?
• Read Psalm 46:10 and the definition of the Hebrew phrase for “be still” on page 252. How does this understanding of being still help you spend quiet time with God?
• Meditate on Psalm 62:5: “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him” (esv). What would it look like for you to place your hope entirely in God?

Afterword: The Best Present You Can Give

• What are some things you are “waking up” to about yourself and your journey with Jesus?
• What does it mean to be present with those you love? How can you do that even better?
• What have you learned is the biggest distraction that keeps you from being present with God?
• Write your definition of being “rich” as a follower of Jesus. How is it different from the definition of being rich according to our culture?
• Jot down the names of family members, friends, and others you want to be more connected to and in whose lives you want to be fully present. Devise a plan to begin making that happen.
• Zig Ziglar said, “One of these days you will say either, ‘I wish I had,’ or ‘I’m glad I did.’” What things would be on your list of “I’m glad I did”?
• Read Philippians 1:6 on page 267. What does this verse mean to you as you continue this journey?

A Grace Challenge from the Author

We covered a lot of ground together. I hope that you were encouraged, challenged, and inspired to be more connected to God and to one another. I pray that you are now looking to find sacred moments in the most unlikely places. This book was designed to be used in a couple of ways. You can read through it and move on. But I think it can be most impactful if you read (or reread) a chapter a day, then meditate and act on the Scripture and ideas in that chapter. I encourage you to journal your thoughts and personal lessons along the way. When you finish the twenty-one-day journey, identify the chapters that challenged you the most. Revisit those chapters from time to time.

I’ve learned that an old dog can learn new tricks. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Blessings and grace always!

Dave Burchett